


Apple Martinis and Roller Skates

by Smokezombie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22038484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smokezombie/pseuds/Smokezombie
Summary: Lord Voldemort just wants his apple maritinis, roller skates and a bit of snogging.
Kudos: 3





	Apple Martinis and Roller Skates

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first crack fic. It's ridiculous but fun. Enjoy!

Lord Voldemort sat there, well, laid there, across a large chair. His head on one large armrest and his legs thrown over the other. He looked the exact picture of relaxation. He swirled his apple martini in it's glass before taking a sip. Lifting his legs up to see his feet, clad in pink sequin roller skates, he sighed. They were his greatest and most prized possession, given to him by Lucius last year as an early/late/right on time birthday present. He would never tell anyone when his birthday was, much less one of his followers. 

Swinging his legs over the arm of the chair, Voldemort stood, draining the rest of his martini. He skated over to his mini bar to make another when there was a sharp knock on his door.

"You may enter," he drawled lazily. "And you better have a good reason for disturbing me on my day off," he finished in a sing song voice. He skated to his large desk and perched on top of it, crossing one leg over the other.

"My Lord," Severus Snape bowed. He was dressed in his usual black robes but there was something different about him. His hair. There were several streaks of bubble gum pink throughout the black.

"My, my Severus, the pink looks great on you! This is a very good reason to see me today. Who finally talked you into it? Please, come sit." Voldemort asked, patting the spot on the desk next to him.

Severus flashed Voldemort a toothy smile took the seat next to him.

"As you know, Lucy and Barty have been begging me for weeks now to do something with this mess of hair. I caved last night while we were having drinks with Cissy and Toni," Severus said, twirling a mix of the black and pink hair between his fingers.

"It's about damn time, Sev. It was getting to the point that I thought I was going to have to Imperius you!" Voldemort chuckled, patting Severus' thigh. Severus' cheeks went pink at the touch and his heart skipped a beat.

"Severus," Voldemort murmured, "When are you going to stop blushing when I touch you?" 

Voldemort lifted his hand to caress Severus' cheek. Standing, he moved between the man's legs and snaked his other hand around his waist. Tucking a pink lock of hair behind his ear, Voldemort claimed Severus' lips with his own. The younger man let out a low whine and kissed his Lord back. 

"My Lord," Severus moaned as Voldemort kissed and sucked his was down his neck. Voldemort's touch always drives him wild, the way the dark wizard's lips feel on his body is divine. This is as far as they ever go though, just kissing and heavy petting. 

"You sound so pretty when you moan, Sev," Voldemort breathed against the other man's ear before nipping at the lobe with his teeth. 

Reaching behind Severus, Voldemort cupped his rear and pulled him closer until he could grind against him, feeling their bulges rub together, pleasurably. Voldemort let out a low hiss at the friction. 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then creaking as the little doggy door was pushed open and in slithered Nagini.

"You called, Mas- Oh sweet, Salazar! I am so sorry, Master! Please forgi-" Voldemort cut Nagini off with a hiss to shut up and leave. The snake quickly exited the doggy door it had just entered through.

"Sorry about that, Sev. She thinks anytime I hiss I'm calling for her. Now, where were we?" Voldemort smiled at the disheveled state Severus was in. His lips were swollen and bruised, there were bite marks and hickeys on his neck and a large bulge between his legs. Voldemort's mouth watered at the sight.

"A-Actually, My Lord, I-I should be going. Lucy needed my help with a po-potion that will make the drinker sw-switch genitals. I was jus-just coming up here to show you my hair. I'm glad you like it," Severus stuttered, straightening his robes and hair.

Voldemort stared at the man for a moment before lightly kissing his forehead.

"I don't just like it, Sev, I love it. You look absolutely ravishing with pink hair. Now, go help Lucy. Send Barty to me if you come across him, yeah?" 

"I do think he went clubbing with Cissy and Bella but if I see him, I'll let him know you wish to see him," Severus nodded.

Severus Snape quickly left Voldemort alone in his study. The dark wizard skated in large circles for a moment before deciding he wanted another apple martini.


End file.
